Writing Log: Vicesteed Chapter 12

[abracanabra]

03/04/2009 - Wednesday, no work
Deleted from Chapter 12

751 / 5,593 (13.4%)

Old chapter wordcount: 5,593
New chapter wordcount: 4,842
Vicesteed Draft 1 wordcount: 207,877
Vicesteed Draft 2 current wordcount: 186,901
Which deleted scene is it anyway?

The choice of costumes had been presented to her, but her initial suggestions were rejected by her father as inappropriate. Admittedly, perhaps the notion of herself as a mechanical golem or a marionette was not suitable for a costume ball ostensibly devoted to pure entertainment. Rosemary had restrained herself from suggesting that she dress up as livestock or dry goods, given that she would be on the marriage mart, as she had heard her father say bluntly to Hannah.

Before her father had expired from exasperation, Rosemary had remembered the leaflets and suggested the idea of a sylph of the sea of space. The swirls of color against the black of space would serve as notice both that she had been bereaved and that she was recently out of mourning. Her mother's ropes of pearls would mimic the spirals of the galaxies, and costume jewelry would complete the desired effect. Of course, her simple costuming ideas had been rejected as being far too plain, but the idea of the costume had been accepted.

It held a wry appeal for her. She pictured herself as a maiden bound forever to the void, finding consolation only in the wreckage of ships that were lost.

Reason for deleting: Unnecessary recap of unnecessary interaction, and it didn't fit in the plot flow. I may move some of the description to a later point, if needed.
Notes: This chapter was pretty good, as reflected by the low percentage of cut material.
Critiquers being unintentionally funny:
* About a person's posture: "perhaps reinforcing the prone position by comparing the fingers to the brass buckle of a trunk?" (There were no trunks in the scene, either, so I'm entirely confused.)
* A suggestion to replace "the touch of silk": "the feathery abrasiveness of silk."
* A guess at the theme of the story: "This seems to be a save the humans from the robot/clones sort of story." (I can see how they might think that from one chapter taken out of context, but this is hilarious.)
* A hope that the main character's desires "will come to fruitarian."

Other writingy stuff:
* Updated general Vicesteed writing/editing notes. I've got general things to remember, specific plot points to change, and a laundry list of stuff to do at the end.
* Posted writing log.
* penthius freewriting about vampires.
* Processed braddr's crit of Vicesteed Chapter 12.
* Read FundsforWriters, FFWSmallMarkets, WritersDigest, WritersWeekly, Critters newsletters.
* Added new markets to Aswiebe's Market List.
* Processed Art Times payment for "Periwinkle Eyes."
* Processed The Edge of Propinquity "Amusing and well-written, but--" rejection of "The Radiator Burped."
* Registered for Wiscon, despite being very uncertain how I'm getting there or where I'm staying once I'm there. I do have a tent. Worst comes to worst, I'll hitchhike and camp out somewhere sneaky. Also signed up for volunteering and the writers workshop.
* Figured out how I'm getting to Wiscon and where I'm staying once I'm there.

03/05/2009 - Thursday, no work
* Read Writing-World newsletter.
* Redmarked some of Vicesteed Chapter 13
* Registered for a hotel room for Wiscon. Now I know where I'm staying and how I'm getting there. Go me.
* Critiqued one of the manuscripts for Minnspec meeting.
* Started doing the big update of the market list. Realized that some of my previous updates had vanished, but fortunately I keep a list of what's new so I can add them back in. Still, grr. Must have crashed while I was working on it.