abracanabra | Entries tagged with to do

I am declaring myself better, for values of "better" that include still being a bit of a snot-monster but having clear lungs and what feels like close to normal energy levels. The kids are going to be super-disappointed when they come home and it's not all-screens, all-the-time because Mom's sick.

This means a to-do list immediately starts ticking through my brain:

* Set up 4th of July party.

* Clean (house is trashed after a 3-day weekend and me doing very little since I got sick). Focus on the kitchen today, I think, because that's the space that needs to be better for a) stove installation, b) 4th of July party, and c) general livability.

* Write. Because WRITING is my priority, damn it. Which means it should come first

* ...and don't I have rather a lot of writing-related emails and tasks that are urgent or overdue (but not actually writing)?

* Figure out what's for dinner. We have an induction plate right now, which is SO much better, but food still requires even more planning than normal.

* Phone calls. Crap. So many phone calls. Need to schedule regular dentist appointments, garage door repair. Blech.

* Bills? Wait, was I supposed to pay bills recently ... but didn't? Urk. Need to investigate.

A few weeks ago, I walked around a corner and my left knee went all wibbly for a bit and then I had a swollen knee that I couldn't straighten fully for a couple of weeks. Anyone who's had knee injuries will recognize this as being a danger sign.

So today I got slid into the Tight Loud Machine at the hospital! My MRI appointment was postponed a week because I was getting sick, but now that I'm getting better AND I have a negative covid test, I went. I do not like MRIs. The last ten minutes, I'd been stuck in one position so long that things started to hurt. My iffy shoulder started to throb. My hairband was digging into my skull.

Glad that's over and I got hospital Panera as a reward. I'm looking forward to an inside look at my bad knee. It's given me fits ever since my ACL tear and knee surgery (over 10 years ago), so an updated status report will be good.

[Dagnabbit, I was trying to show a photo, but ofc Google Photos don't allow direct image sharing.]

Where have I been? Um, I've been insanely busy for the last week. I've been working full hours at NgithOwl, plus the senior center job, plus more weekend hours from a work-from-home project. I also had a bunch of writing due-dates fall into the same zone: my market list was due, I had assignments to do for my writing group on Sunday, and then I had to get Circus of Brass and Bone edited, online, recorded, and out (this takes more time than you might think).

Everything else has been shoved out of the way. I have lots of baby shower stuff to do, various other writing projects, emergency maternity shirt mending, basic household chores, plant planting, ebay stuff, social obligations, etc. Things should be better now that I'm past the writing deadlines and the work-from-home deadlines (though I'm told there will be more of that on the way). Now I only have the 50-hour workweek and all my regular obligations....

But if I didn't respond to your whatever in a timely fashion? That is why. I had to sleep instead.

My breasts have expanded past the point that Victoria's Secret stocks in-store. Just sayin'.

Or stocks at all for some of my preferred styles. Quite annoying.

Today I slept in until a reasonable time, then woke up, measured my bra size (planning to take care of a little shopping while in Uptown), wrote up the writing exercise for my writer's workshop, ate (twice), and was out the door to my writing workshop.

There was listening to presentation, in which creating characters was discussed and I discovered I'm really amazingly terrible at identifying what personality type someone else's character is from what they do (about as badly as I do with individuals in person). Didn't actually need to have done the writing exercise homework, which I would have found annoying if I hadn't actually learned from it. Then there was the workshoping portion, which was far smaller than usual. Finished that, left and did a little shopping in Uptown: discovered Vicky's shortcomings, and bought spices from Penzey's (yay free jar of spices coupon!). Caught bus home.

Soon, I will need to put in hours on the work project that needs to get finished ASAP, on dinner and other chores, on preparing clothing for ebay tomorrow, and on recording a podcast.

But first, it is time for me to lean back in the recliner and enjoy a donut, a mug of tea, and nethack. Tomorrow is a blood glucose test, and so today there shall be donuts.

Now it i

This morning I
* ate two meals while reading the internets.
* cleaned table-top in preparation for finishing it.
* called emergency room billing and gave them our (lacking) insurance information, so they can not bill us for the full cost.
* tagged, titled, and loaded the dozen photos from last year's orientation photo gig.
* scheduled an estimate meeting with a fencing company.
* emailed off a photo to use for the anthology that a story's coming out in.

Why doesn't that feel like enough? Why didn't I get more done?

Then I bused in to work, compiled and emailed in accumulated tracking spreadsheets, and now I (probably) have three hours of downtime before I have to go to my physical therapy appointment after work.

This Relax Without Feeling Lazy: Kill Open Loops post makes an excellent point, and it brings to the forefront a lot of why I generally feel stressed. I put a lot on myself: writing; photography; maintaining a clean house (ha!) and providing basic services like laundry, clean dishes, and hot dinners; and eventually, a return to martial arts or another high-demand physical activity (I miss inhabiting my body in that way). I also have a ridiculously long list of miscellaneous to-dos.

At the same time, these are thing that will never be completed. There is always more writing; it's not like I finish a piece and then wait, fallow, for the next story idea to come to me--part of my writing process produces a huge backlog of ideas. There are always photos to load up to the stock photography site or a portfolio or a gallery display to create. My house will never be 100% clean.

So--today. I declare that my writing loop will be closed if I redmark and make editing changes to "Missing You In Pieces" and write 100 (+ whatever if I hit flow, which is unlikely in 100) words on "Tree of Life." My cleaning loop will be closed if I quick-clean the bathroom, do laundry, run the Roomba, do dishes, and clean the nightstand. My photography loop will close if I upload a photo to iStock and research camera flashes and reflectors etc. My to-do list will close if I finish paying bills and update my books-to-borrow list from library receipts and Science Fiction Book Club mailings.

Hrm. This may take some work. That looks like more than is reasonable to do in one day--but at least I know where the end point is.

x-post Fb/LJ--

The knee surgery to replace my ACL is scheduled for this coming Monday, and I can hardly think of anything else. It's worse because I know what to expect this time around (I had the other knee repaired about a year and a half ago). I have no energy, no willpower, and my impulse control is remarkably poor. I think all my strength and willpower is going to the not-freaking-out-about-imminent-surgery project. With mixed results.

I've dealt with work emails. I've gotten my teeth inspected and (my very first) cavities taken care of. I've bought skirts and loose-fitting pants for post-surgery work wear. My family visited us and we visited Phil's family. I went to the opera, the zoo, and the Walker Art Museum*. I went to a nice restaurant with Phil last night for the last time for a while. I have a bed.

There's no way I'm hitting my Vicesteed editing goal before surgery--I'd hoped to finish this draft, but I'm only to Chapter 20. And writing/editing/anything time will be pretty much non-existent for the next couple of months, mostly because I'll be too muzzy-headed to do anything quality. I suppose I could write short stories, because it matters less if I muck those up.

There are still other things I want/need to get done before surgery. I'd like to get my bike fixed, so I can use it for physical therapy during the recovery (once I'm somewhat mobile). I'd like to get the dishwasher fixed, but that requires one more part to arrive and then a scheduled appointment with a repair guy. There's a wedding, and the surrounding events. There's the MNSpec writing meeting and critique session (the day before surgery), that I still need to get critiques done for. I need to finish uploading and labeling at least the 2009 orientation photos. I'd like to go to the MoA and look for more post-surgery clothes and comfortable dress shoes and tiny earrings, but that seems a distant possibility. I'd like to go to Fire Roast Mountain coffee shop in the afternoon this weekend, but other events may interfere. Oh, and I need to pay bills and see about that property tax refund and...and...clean the house really thoroughly one last time, and--.

* While I'm still a walker. Get it?

Confession: I like reading other people's to-do lists. They give me hope. Here are these smart, competent people, and they have to-do lists almost as long as mine*. Somehow, they get most of the items on their lists done, which means I might too someday.

* Confession the 2nd: I don't have a to-do list. I have a to-do spreadsheet. Quail** in terror and wonder.

**The action, not the bird. Though the bird is rather tasty.

I have a gazillion things I should be working on*. Critiques for Minnspec. Critiques for Critters. Editing Vicesteed draft 1. Editing the beginning of Vicesteed draft 2 for Wiscon. Editing other stories. Updating market list. Submitting stories. Studying camera. Handling 80th birthday photos. Studying martial arts. Cleaning house. Doing laundry. Posting last CSA logs. Updating writing notes. Doing taxes. Job hunt. Uploading stock photos. Processing writing/photography expenses. Setting up photography business. Updating photography side of website. Planning dinner. Selling books, somehow, somewhere. Making doctors appointments. Sorting and acting on huge paper stack.

Mostly I want to go back to sleep. Or to veg out on the couch with a book. These are not valid options.

Repeat after me: There Is No Stress, There Is Only Do**.

* This is my normal state of existence.
** That's taped over my desk. It's my motivational motto. It's also a play on words.

* a whole ton of recipes and CSA photos and such
* more photos
* writing down our trip to Georgia while I still remember it
* starting martial arts back up
* the next markets newsletter
* maybe writing logs? I have a ton of them. I suppose I could hide it all behind a cut-tag.
* and, oh my, time for another Spec the Halls.

Well, I guess I know some of what I'm working on tomorrow.

I am in a weird unbalanced place for emotion/action/productivity. I am not sure what this place is. It's a little like depression, because I am eating/sleeping too much and not in the right patterns. I'm overwhelmed with things I must/want to work on that are running through my brain in a constant litany that makes me want to hide under my desk or in bed and try to block them out, though that only makes them louder and means I'm not actually getting anything of worth done. It's impending doom and ack! how do I tackle this and I have no talent and I am lazy and who am I trying to fool anyway. I'm off-balance, but I don't know which way to move to correct it.

It's very annoying.

I suspect this is a combined motive hangover that has been building up from all the creative spark input I've been getting from conferences and people, combined with more pressure and what-I-should-be-doing realizations and just the fatigue that working the day job full-time and not having time to do my own thing gives me.

Ah, I finally get around to writing up the Bush Artist retreat highlights, from the perspective of the fly on the wall. The 2008 Bush Artist Fellows are an impressive (and photogenic) bunch. Follow that link to learn more about them and their award-winning art. As I said in my earlier post, everybody was witty and charming and talented, the orientation events were educational, the reception was fabulous, and the Fellows deserved their wins.

Did I mention the reception was fabulous?

( Notes from the educational presentations. )

Now I've finished getting the photos ready and writing up the retreat just in time to take a deep breath and dive into my next major event. That would be the Fourth Street Fantasy conference, which I'm attending this weekend. It's my first writer's conference. I hope they'll be gentle.

13:17 Pandora's clearly picked up on the Tree of Light theme--last 3 songs titled "Dormant", "Earthlight", and "Morning Glory." #
16:09 Zee snow, eet besieges us once more. Oh, zee humanity! #
17:23 Brainspasm: Must--BakeCake PayBills CorralActionItems TakeMeasurements DoExercises MakeDinner. #

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Outside my study window, I am watching Snowpocalypse 2007. Sadly, this probably means the snow will finish doing its thing early enough that I won't have the "Oops, I'm snowed in, can't get to work" excuse for tomorrow. *sniff*

I have a hot grain bag under my feet, a large mug of hot apple cider in front of me, and a tea-light candle burning. Downstairs Phil is swearing at the TV as the Army-Navy game plays. Dinner is cooking in my crockpot: venison with carrots, potatoes, celery, onions, apple cider, broth, and spices. Special thanks for this winter moment go to

fayde for the large mug (it really is the perfect size!), and to

discoflamingo for the candles.

I'll be happy and all accomplished-feeling if I get three of the things I'm thinking of doing today actually done:
* fold all laundry
* finish updating Spec the Halls website
* bake something
* send out Spec the Halls newsletter
* sew curtains
* update martial arts notes
* process writing rejections and get submissions back out
* decorate for Christmas
* write Christmas letter
etc etc etc.

Done:

Finished QCing project.
Finished other project.
Acquired passport photos for name change.
Chose poker X-Game (Choose Your Own)

To Do:

Write side-project story that's due this weekend
Take long nap.
Go play poker.
Return Battlestar Galactica season 2.1
If eliminated early, write story if still not done--otherwise, rough edit.

This is of course in addition to the regular day-to-day list of to-dos that I so rarely complete: calisthenics, dinner, bathroom quick-clean, dishes, laundry, tidying of rooms, special cleaning mission, martial arts material review/update, martial arts training, general writing maintenance tasks involving critiques and submissions and newsletters and market lists, and garden maintenance.

You might think I'm a perfectionist, and you'd be right. You might also think that I'm not lazy, but you would be wrong.

Note to self: These 30 Essential Pieces Of Free (and Open) Software for Windows are quite awesome, and there's about half a dozen of 'em that I should download the next time I've got my laptop in an area with a high-speed internet connection. Also,

lifehacker is both useful and addictive, but I'm more than a little cranky about its tendency lately to double-post everything. Why, oh RSS feed, why?

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To-Dos, and MRI

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Why Can't I Get More Done?

Closing Loops

Surgery on Monday

Your To-Do Lists Are Not Boring To Me.

State of the To-Do List

Posts I Want to Make

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Notes from the Bush Artist Fellows Retreat

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April 2025

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